Have you ever been part of a small team, or have led a small team where things just do not feel right? It’s like you can smell the tension in the air with the members, and everyone lately is becoming offended by something small another person said. That would characterized as small team challenges.
These scenarios require adjustments and are considered small “defects” of operating within or leading small teams. It is important to nip these things in the bud early to course correct, so tensions don’t build up and spill over like a volcanic eruption in the future. In other words, it is about getting the team back on track when there’s something in the air that is not settling right with people.
How do we do that?
The first thing is to find out why. Simon Sinek talks about this in his book “Find Your Why”. He uses this concept in a slightly different way regarding knowing why, because it allows one to understand what makes a person tick. With respect to our case, we need to learn why and what caused the reaction. There is always a “why” behind action. There’s an old saying, “every action causes a reaction”. Didn’t some famous guy named Issac Newton mentioned this in his 3rd Law of Motion? So, there’s some reason why a person feels a certain way, there’s some reaction that happens because of an action of another (or a group) or something that one has no control over. Again, the first thing to address immediately is to understand what’s causing the tension. One has to conduct a “mini feasibility study” quickly with an objective mindset and not taking sides. One should be aware of our human biases regarding jumping to conclusions because it’s easy for our brains.
Once we figure out “why” and we can narrow it down, that’s what’s called the “root cause”. To verify the assumption that the particular action was the root cause of a reaction, we must test the assumption by communicating in the proper tone, timing and language to that person offended to see if our assumption was correct. If we find out that our assumed root cause is not correct, it could be due to a couple things:
- The person doesn’t have the trust and is misrepresenting to you. In other words, they are probably holding back in some way due to fear of retaliation or most likely just because trust hasn’t been established yet between you both.
- Or it is truly not the reason.
If it is truly not the reason, we must further investigate and ask those open-ended questions to that individual(s). It’s important to be conscious on using the word “why” when doing your research with the offended. “Why” sometimes makes people act defensive. Rather, try using the phrases and questions:
- “How come you feel that way?”
- “Please continue.”
- “What else?”
- “Is there anything else?”
Offering those opportunities to speak and be heard, that “mini feasibility study” we talked about above can continue to discover the real root cause of someone reacting a certain way.
Once the root cause is discovered the soft skill of understanding, empathizing and then finally mediating and getting things back on track by communicating with both parties and/or multiple parties is next. Now, this must be done the right way. And what I mean by the “right way” is most of the time taking the diplomatic, collaborative, problem solving approach. Most of the time this works. Forceful, firm approaches can backfire. That’s one of the best ways to get a team and people back on track.
Once dust has settled a little bit, there is an aspect of rebuilding the relationships by demonstration. The offender or the “apparent offender” (they still might not think they are the offender in any way), must be humble and willing to adjust. They will need to prove to the offended that they understood, respected their perspectives, feelings, and will take those items into consideration for future interactions. It’s important to positively acknowledge the offender for adjusting and working to create better team environment for the future. There is so much more to cover on this topic, but in small teams, it is so critical to have awareness, soft skills, and patience to move forward and be sustainable for a period. If not, there is a good chance that things will start to bubble over and “out the door” will go the performance and the happiness of that small team.